MAN IS BORN FREE,
AND EVERYWHERE HE IS IN CHAINS.
the idea from the social contract
is that
there is something inherently
free about humanity.
but being enslaved by
societal conventions and expectations,
we surrender a big part of
our personal freedom
to co-exist civilly.
think i have been hit by
a bad dose of People Fatigue lately.
it is that feeling i get at the end
of an inhumanely hard day,
that the harsh forces of the world
are conspiring against me.
i really want to be as freespirited
as i believe i should be.
but
my public-self is in chains.
she is the lesser alter ego-
proud, less than truthful,
afraid, susceptible to conformity and
most things bad.
this socialbeing creature that ive been
induced to be
is ugly.
which really goes down to this:
i am truly flawed in
every sense of the word.
i live and breathe many many days
in guilt.
it is a tragedy how i let
the guilt manifest itself into
negative energy that runs
deep into my system.
my ideas of people
are just emotionally gruelling
for me.
altho i KNOW that the only
constants in this lifetime will be
family and a
couple of worthy others,
i still fear being judged
by people who absolutely shouldnt matter.
i settle in with people whose values
are hardly like mine,
establish some kind of temporary mutual
egoboosting companionship, and
indulge in meaningless
pseudo happy-s.
they tend to be a culture shock.
people belonging to the Upper Class or
Upper Middle Class
truly live in a bubble of their own.
they have extremely different
priorities and values.
they are not necessarily bad,
but they are not the same.
in their picture perfect world,
all the sufferings on the outside
are faraway, sad, but still,
faraway.
they cannot really see how they
should be obliged or just involved
in reversing these inequalities.
they are more self-loving,
indifferent to matters beyond their circle,
and they
encourage one another’s hedonistic ways
in their cult of materialism.
these activities tend to be more
important than the less
pressing issues in life
like poverty, injustices,
degeneration of the env and
various other
more cheesy, soppy stuff.
and sadly enough
sometimes I am guilty of these.
but because i am alot
more imperfect than the
Upper Class darling,
i am able to
empathise better with
the weak,
since our common denominator
lie in our
warped lives.
we are, after all,together,
the Weak.
it is probably different for me,
since they are not so faraway.
they hover right in my face
so much so that i cannot
really proceed with life without
trying to fix them.
there is no real altruism here,
merely driven by self interest.
we can only resent the system
by which our world functions.
it is designed by the Powerful
to favour the rich
and banish those beneath to
their apparently selfdeserved Lesser Lives.
our values are not the same
but i seem to be able to
lose mine so readily when im
in my public self.
it is disgraceful and
i wont like myself too much
for a very long while.
11:16 PM